It’s time again for another update on TP (The Psychologist). I know my blog attracts a lot of new readers each post, so I am going to give a quick backstory so those of you who are new are in the know. So without further ado, where we left off: The Psychologist is a Post Doctoral intern who works at the university I am employed by. He and I have been seeing each other for about a month, and things have been great. About two weeks ago, I mentioned I wanted to take things slow with him re: sex, and just recently (like Tuesday of this week), he made a comment about not being ready either. He is 28, has had a number of partners, but said that with different people at different phases in his life, he has wanted it to be different. With me, he wants the timing to be right.
Intermission over.
On Friday, TP came over at about 7:15 after both of us had a pretty long week. We had plans to have a sleepover and to spend some time together. After a trip to the gym (him), and an afternoon of chores and cleaning (me), he came over and we cooked dinner together. I really enjoy when we get to do that. We also talked a bit at dinner about a bunch of different stuff. I like getting to hear about his day and just feeling comfortable when we talk.
We watched The Invention of Lying, which is one of my favorite movies. He had yet to see it, but he really enjoyed it. Then, we went upstairs to bed, which really constituted a whole bunch of fooling around and chatting. Things got a little steamy, clothing got removed, and suddenly he stopped and looked me in the eyes and said, “I’d really like to go down on you.” Now, I should probably pause for a second and say that I cant remember the last time I let a guy to that – it’s a bit intimate in my opinion, and I always feel weird when it happens. This time however, for some reason I was feeling rather trusting and comfortable, so I said OK. I should probably also mention that it was fucking awesome.
Obviously, there came a point where I returned the favor, and it didn’t seem like there were any complaints on his end either. It’s funny… I am in my mid 20s and have had a number of relationships, so I am not inexperienced when it comes to that kind of thing, but I always feel so nervous when I am with someone new. I am probably not as experienced as the rest of the general population, and it was never really anything I was able to talk to anyone about, so I always just cross my fingers and hope I am not making some crazy faux pas. Considering how quickly he finished and all the positive remarks he made afterwards (and during), I think I can squash those concerns. Also, because it’s humorous and relevant to the story that is to come, my dog jumped into the bed with us and started licking his face right as TP finished.
So with that, we went to sleep, cuddling. The next morning we woke up and there was a bit more fooling around and cuddling, but mostly there was some good conversation. The two things that stand out in my mind were as follows:
- Half asleep, I asked him to tell me a story. He responded “last night, when your dog jumped into the bed, you said ‘[dog] has only joined you in bed with another person once. I know we have talked about past relationships and things like that, but I noticed at that moment that I was finding myself feeling pretty jealous. I don’t normally feel jealous, but at that moment I did. I think that’s an indicator that I must really like you.”
- He also shared with me that he had a dream about us going on a date together, which he prefaced by saying, “I know I must be quite fond of you because you are even appearing in my dreams now.”
After a while, we got up, I made him some coffee, and we spent a little time together drinking our coffee and just cuddling. Then, we went our separate ways to get our work and errands accomplished for the day.
Overall? Sleepover was a huge success.
You know, it feels good to feel liked. I can tell that he enjoys spending time with me, and I really appreciate how present he is when we are together. My one pet peeve is that when we are not, I am not a huge fan of how much/often he communicates. We send texts (probably about 5-10 a day), and I always find myself being the last one to respond, and waiting checking my phone wondering if he will write back. In his defense, he does start most of our conversations, and definitely is the one to initiate plans and things like that, but it’s weird to spend such good time with someone 2/3/4 days a week, and then to hardly communicate with them all the rest of the week.
I am not stressing over this, because that would be silly. I am just trying to take a page out of his book, and to really think about what is important to me, and how I am feeling throughout getting to know him. I understand that people have different needs in terms of relationship styles or communication, but I just find that the more/better I communicate with someone, the better I feel about the situation I am involved in. It’s weird to sit back and think “maybe he doesn’t like me at all,” when his actions when we are together clearly indicate otherwise.
For now, I am just going to let things play out and see if it doesn’t get a little better in time (also, uh, if he doesnt make a move soon, obviously :-p). Everything else about him is absolutely wonderful, so I am not going to let this be a deal breaker. In fact, I am going to do the opposite. In many ways, this gives me a chance to really explore my feelings and decide how I feel about him before we come to a point where I have to consider the whole “will you be my girlfriend” thang.
So, how do I intend to do this? By living life, silly.
Last night, I went out with my closest girl friend out here and we had a great time. Flirted with two pilots, convinced a guy to literally give us the shirt off his back, ate good mexican food, and drank a whole lot.
Have I mentioned lately how great life is?
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